Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I have made arrangements amongst the townsfolk to investigate the ailment of our faer little city.
Well I've got a bracer that I stram on.
Lipsinki. What is it that this bracer does?
Press the diamond and it shoots out and it's a never-dulling shovel that I used to dig my holes.
It lets you in and you enter the basement. It's just back and down the hall there.
Guys, there's something on the other side of that door groaning.
You see skeletons in corners of this room decorating the walls all around.
You see a giant rib cage circling the center of this room.
If you've lost something in this world, Orcus can provide it back to you.
Who knows what's on the other side, but we're about to find out.
We flash to Lipsinki and Vorunax, jumping backwards through the open portal.
The sound of bones crunching echoes out into the stale air.
Welcome to the promised land, Miss Pipdigons.
This is Thanatos, the home of our Demon Prince and Lord of the Undead, Orcus.
Why did you bring me to this cursed place?
There are some beings with special abilities that the Demon Prince is taking an interest in.
You? You are one of those beings.
Hello? Is there somebody there? Can I hear you?
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast,
and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, and with me today is Tom Lair.
Hey, that's me. Yep. And today I will be playing Flint Firebeard.
And Amy More.
That's me as well, and I'll be playing Thea Amastasia.
And the cat came back the very next day. It's Karla Maxted.
That's me. I will be playing TBD. I guess we'll find out together.
This is our new gimmick we have where we just keep killing Karla off.
I mean, I'd prefer it if I could last more than two episodes.
So let's see what happens this time. I liked her. She was real fun.
We don't know that she's dead. She's not dead.
She got sucked into a portal. Who knows when she'll be back?
Who knows? This is a big universe out there.
Maybe we'll do a spinoff with Lip Sinky and whoever my new character is tonight.
Oh, that's fun.
So you guys can have a week off.
Okay. Just be me on an adventure with myself.
That just sounds like life.
Where we have lots of adventures is over on Patreon. Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast. There's one shot adventures. There's other arcs.
There's a whole bunch of cool things happening. And when you are a patron of ours,
you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Joshua Dixon.
Thanks, Joshua. Thank you.
And now, unless there's anything else that we should talk about, I don't think so.
Fuck it. Let's play D&D.
Flint and Thea, you find yourselves in the basement of an orcas stronghold, if you will.
Vorunax has just pulled Lip Sinky through a portal.
Into what you can presume to be the abyss.
You hear coming down the hall, the moaning of zombies.
The ground beneath you begins to shake.
And shooting up from the ground are skeletal arms that begin grabbing at your legs.
So what's the game plan here? We got to get out of here.
I'm like, I'm like lifting my leg and like kicking. I'm like, well, I think the game plan
is we leave alive and we try not to, I don't know, kill anybody else that doesn't deserve
being killed.
Okay. So how do you, how do you think we get out of here?
I'm continually stomping fingers, skeletal-y fingers.
Oh yeah, no, I picture Flint like a little boy kicking at a puddle.
Like he's just kicking hands out of the way.
You know, back down the hall you came where you hear the zombies coming from,
there were various offshoots taking you back up to street level.
In this room you see no other egresses except for the one you came in.
Is my monkey finger a monkey finger?
In this room you see no other egresses except for the one you came in.
Is my monkey finger still in effect?
How long does it last?
As long as a normal monkey finger does, Russ.
As long as I need it to.
Well, I don't know because it's no longer on my sheet.
I have-
You deleted it off your sheet?
Yeah, because I used it. It's a one time use only thing.
But continuity.
Well, that's all I have.
Whoa!
I can't remember the real name for it.
Protection from undead.
From the undead.
Up to 10 minutes.
Oh, then yes, it's absolute.
You cracked it when you started going down into the place.
Okay, you've got like a minute left.
No, it's okay. I can't remember what it does.
Okay, it's no longer in effect because you deleted it off your page.
You dropped it way back there.
You know, it got sucked through the portal.
You don't even have it.
Down in the down in the abyss somewhere, there's a bunch of undead just being like,
I can't go near this spot.
Good. That makes Thea very happy to know that she's interrupted some undead lives.
Some undead lives?
That's right.
Yeah.
Just roll with it.
Yes, the unliving in the abyss.
What's the undead that are now just outside the doorway?
I say we, you know, GTFO.
So we gotta carve our way through these guys?
Yeah, you first.
All right.
As you begin to move, make a strength check.
Who?
Both of you because there are skeletons grabbing at your legs.
Um, I've had worse things grabbing at my legs before Russ.
How's a six?
Oh, not as good as my 19.
Well, you don't have to rub it in.
No, Amy, I felt like you needed to know.
Flint, you begin to charge towards the door and you hear Thea fall to the ground.
That was my fault.
As the skeleton arms are grabbing you and begin hitting you.
I'm screaming, no touchy.
You take 14 bludgeoning damage.
Well, shit, ironically, muscular skeletons.
Hey, there's a lot of hands.
Now, if I remember correctly, Russ, Thea was closer to the door than I was
because I'd made my way in to fight certain things.
It would make sense considering I had taken like no damage.
You know, you went in into the back of the room
because you were trying to sneak sneak around.
I can't remember that.
That's what I wanted to do.
I'll take your word for it.
So she's a little ways back there.
Yeah.
All right.
Go on without me.
Just kidding.
Flint, help.
All right.
I'm on it.
I'm going to head over to her and I guess pull her up.
Yeah, make a strength check once you get there
and then that'll be to get you both out.
23.
You lift her handily up and out, shattering bones
as she flies up into the air and now is riding piggyback.
Perfect.
Let's do as you charge towards the door.
You see just passing the first set of stairs.
The undead horde is in front of you.
You probably should put me down.
I'm I'm not going to help you out in battle like this.
Yeah.
I mean, you can just hop off any time I get down.
I dismount.
So just for further play here,
we're not really going to initiative this.
We're going to more skills challenge it and then see how we go.
So you describe what you want to do and then we'll justify it.
Okay.
I'm thinking insight.
What do these undead really want?
What's their motivation for this?
I would like to use acrobatics because Thea growing up
was put into an academy as was all higher up.
Like, I don't care about your backstory.
How are you using it?
Oh, I'm going to dance my way through them all.
Like, like, like slide and like bend and yeah.
So you're going to do the thriller to get to the stairs.
Yes.
All right.
Roll me in acrobatics.
You describe to me what you do and then I'll tell you what happens.
Uh, I just, I'm like, I got this and I,
and I run toward the horde and, and I'm aiming for in between
and I'm trying to move very quickly.
So I'm like sidestepping and like,
like trying to do like a twirl and then like shimmy between a couple others
and like just essentially outmaneuver them and go faster than they are.
Cause you know, they're pretty slow.
They're not like walking dead zombies or no.
What are the other one?
28 days later.
28 day later zombies.
Oh, those fast zombies.
Yeah.
You get up and you like, it's like last second,
you turn to tell Flint what you're going to do
and then the zombies reach out for you
and, uh, you are going to take, uh, 16 bludgeoning damage
as they reach for you and beat you.
Oh, that didn't work.
Uh, okay.
Is she like in the middle of them or is she still on my side?
She's still on your side.
She didn't get very far.
Okay.
Thea, check this out.
And I pull out my rod of lordly might
and I make it grow.
Yep.
That's what happens.
Uh, I hit the fifth button on it and it becomes a portable battering ram
used to usually break down doors,
but let's just break down some zombies.
All right.
I like where your head's at.
Uh, so Thea, you're going to help me with this
and we're going to, uh, gain an advantage
on any strength check we use, uh, when, uh, when doing this bad boy.
Go for it.
So I guess we're going to go with athletics for this one, Russ.
And not only do we gain advantage, uh,
but I gain a plus 10 bonus on the strength check as well.
Made to break through doors, barricades, or other barriers.
Barriers?
I mean, it's a barricade of zombies.
It's a barrier.
All right.
It's a barrier just stops you from doing something.
Right? Uh, first one's a 25, but I'll roll again
because I have advantage.
Why not?
Oh, only a 24 that time.
24 wouldn't have done it.
So good thing you have the 25.
Oh, good thing I rolled the 25.
Um, okay.
You got, uh, you got any damage on that
or does that just, is the thing that happens?
Uh, I mean, I imagine it just like busts open
whatever I'm trying to bust open.
Okay. So you rush forward picking Thea up,
like she just grabs onto it.
Yeah. I'm pretending to like help,
but really I'm just being kind of carried along.
Motivational boost.
And you crash through the first wave of zombies,
which clears you past the staircase,
leading back up to the street there.
Arms and legs and heads and everything
are flying down the hall.
Super idea.
Let's head up these stairs.
Yeah. I mean, let's just get out of here
as quick as possible.
You run up the stairs and you find yourself
back in the hospital towards the back
of where, uh, the building is.
You come down the hall where you knew Lipsinki's room.
You recognize where Lipsinki's room to be,
but there's something different about this.
As you step into it,
it's like an illusion begins to fade on the walls.
And it goes from being a very nice room
to an old broken down rotting building.
You see the doorways even before the illusion,
uh, dropped that were open or were closed.
Most of them have been broken open
all except one.
Both of you make a perception check.
Oh, not 20.
Oh, well, 27.
I feel like even though I don't have as big of a bonus,
mine is somehow better.
I know, me too.
Both of you begin running down this hallway
and you see movement towards the one closed door.
Underneath it, you see the snout of a rat poke out.
Do you think there's anything in behind that door?
I don't know, maybe.
If there are rats there and they haven't run yet.
I mean, we still got this battering ram in action.
Why don't you just take it down real quick?
Yeah, you take that door down.
All right.
Yeah, go ahead.
It was all right, Russ.
It's all right.
He can do it.
Okay.
I mean, it was 27.
Before you do that, that definitely is good.
The rat on the other side of the door is like,
the fuck?
God damn.
The rat runs out and sees you running towards it
and it begins making gestures towards you.
And it turns around, runs back under the door
as Flint barrels through.
Killing the rat.
Was the gesture one that conveyed like,
please break this door down?
Make an insight check.
Can I make an animal handily?
You're not handling the animal.
Not yet.
That's a 14.
That's a 22.
Yeah, I mean, both of you get the feeling
that it was trying to get you to do something,
but as you barrel through the door, who do they see?
They see the rat, Perseus.
They also see a very tall, big, strong humanoid male,
like six foot four, 240, big, big fella.
He has kind of like long, dark, graggly kind of hair
and his skin is really like white, gray and modeled
and not fresh looking, let's say.
As we batter our way in there, I'm like,
who are you?
Well, I've had many names.
I've been called Artemis or Mourn or Granger or Lee.
Okay, no, okay, yeah, no, that's great.
What's your name today?
We've got some shit happening behind us.
Yeah, undead hordes coming.
Why didn't you say so?
Let's deal with that first.
Oh, I mean, our plan is to get out of here.
We're straight up leaving.
Are you coming with?
Yes, of course, of course, I'm coming with.
Are you a captor here?
Am I a captor?
Did I lock myself in this cell?
Did you capture yourself?
I'm like, wait, she did say the wrong word, right?
It really took me a minute to be like.
Yeah, no, she definitely asked if you were a captor.
I'm under a lot of pressure here.
My monkey finger stopped working.
Have you been captured?
There we go.
I have, I came to town just days ago and I ended up.
Here they had this plan and the undead and I didn't want to help, so I ended up here.
Yeah, that Varnarx is a real piece of something.
Is this your rat?
Oh, this is Perseus.
Super cute.
OK, let's get out of here.
You head back out down the hallway and towards the front of the building
and you hear rumbling coming from behind you
as the building begins to fall in on itself down at the far end.
You get to the door and you look out the window and in the muddy bunny alley
you see zombies and skeletons closing in on the front door.
Across from you, you see the wall of the muddy bunny pet store
and there is a ladder that goes up that wall along that building.
Are there still bunnies in the shop window?
Yes.
OK.
Make a perception check.
12.
It looks like there's bunnies still in that building.
OK, I yell, look, there's a ladder, but I'm going to try something
and I smashed the glass to the muddy bunny pet shop
and I want to use animal handling to tell the animals to start attacking the undead.
That's right.
Monty Python style.
That's not where I thought that was going.
It's where it went.
May I?
Yeah, sure.
This is why I'm on the podcast.
No other reason.
That's a 16.
So what are you smashing the glass with?
I grab a brick from the derelict building.
And you throw it through the glass and it shatters, drawing the attention of some of the zombies.
And you see these bunnies hop out.
And as they hop out into the street, the illusion fades on the pet shop
and they too are zombies.
And they come rushing towards you as well.
This is awful.
Oh no.
Guys, I made it worse.
I made it worse.
Go up the ladder.
Typical Thea behavior.
Couldn't have a horde of bunnies, could I?
Just couldn't give me even a horde of bunnies.
Okay.
I'm sorry, I didn't catch which name you actually gave yourself.
I did.
If you did.
Okay, okay.
She didn't say anything.
Then you are up.
Sure.
Carla, you're up.
Kind sir.
You two, take the ladder.
Go first.
I'll follow you.
Okay, I don't know you.
I don't really like having you at my back.
But at the same time, I just let loose a bunch of zombie bunnies.
So, okay.
The two of you begin to scramble up the ladder.
Are you doing something in particular or are you just following in behind?
I'm just following in behind.
All right, make a dexterity check.
It's a whopping seven.
This big beefy boy.
Not that dexterous, surprisingly.
Should also make a distraction check because my fine ass is right above you.
Probably slowing you down just staring at it.
Flint and Thea, you run and rush up the ladder.
And you hear behind you more of a slower pace with your new friend
as they begin to climb up the ladder and zombies grab onto your legs
as you get a few rungs up.
Oh no.
Oh wait, I don't know this though.
I'm not looking.
Okay, I am just going to try to kick at them.
So, I guess like an unarmed strike probably.
Is that how you want me to play that?
Yeah, just a straight strength.
So, strength check is 18.
Yeah, you manage to kick free and begin re-ascending the ladder.
All three of you make it to the top.
And it's only, well, this was probably one of the taller buildings.
It's three stories high.
So, you are up at the top of this building.
Next building surrounding it is at least a story down.
You look out and you see just,
there weren't a huge number of people,
but there is a considerable amount of zombies and skeletons.
And you see that same illusion on some of the people
that you described as fish-eyed or dead fish-eyed.
And it's fading and it's showing that they, in fact, were zombies as well.
But all surrounding the building that you're in
and moving towards from the city itself are undead.
I kick the ladder over.
I don't know if the undead can climb ladders, so.
You look down as you kick it over
and you see skeletons that were trying to climb up.
Not today.
Okay.
It is Flint's turn.
Your lotto's turn.
Off in the distance, you hear the flapping of wings.
And you see Donnie coming up and over the horizon,
moving slower than he usually does.
And then you hear the neighing of horses towards the tavern.
Are the horses zombies?
You can't see them.
Oh my god, why would you even put that thought
into Russ's mind?
Well, everything else seems to be fucking zombies.
All right, so we're on a three-story building.
The ladder behind us was the way up.
Am I able to perceive any sort of path down from here
that looks relatively safe?
Or at least free of zombies?
And I'm willing to risk it otherwise.
Out of all perception.
I can do that.
It's a 14.
You see off to the far side from where you came up,
the building opens onto one of the main streets.
You see a couple canopies on the far side
on the building across the street from you
and one a little further down on the same building
that you are standing.
A couple canopies that maybe would provide some assistance.
Could totally bounce off one.
Do these canopies-
Alydin style.
I was going to say,
do these canopies appear to be like the soft canvassy type
that I will like land nicely into
or the hard type that I will bounce off of
and then roll onto the next one
and then comically bounce off that one
and roll down to the street?
I mean, they seem fabric-like.
You can't tell exactly what kind of fabric with that roll.
They seem not hard bouncy.
And then it's not zombie-free
but there are fewer zombies than the other side.
Okay, well less zombie seems like the way to go.
How far up?
We're three stories up, so roughly 30 feet?
Yes, so to the ground you're 30 feet.
To the canopy on the building that you're on,
you're probably 20 feet across.
You know, it's 10 feet down.
Just do a little pythagorean theorem.
Just a little quick math.
Well, I'm thinking I can use that rod of lordly might again
and turn it into a 50-foot ladder.
There you go.
I will hit button number four,
hook this ladder onto like the rooftop that we're on
and throw the rest down to the street.
No roll required.
That's a ladder.
Perfect.
You climb down.
But I will do like the fun thing
where people like slide down ladders
instead of climbing down them all slowly.
That's going to require a dex check.
Yeah, there we go.
That's more like it.
That is, with bonus, a 16.
Yes, so the two of you see Flint
hit another button on his rod of lordly might
and the ladder comes forth
and he throws it down and says a cool line
just dropping in as he jumps over the edge
sliding down towards the street.
Do you two follow?
I look over the edge.
Have I seen Donnie?
Yeah, oh yeah.
Okay, I look over the edge.
I'm like, Flint, you go on ahead.
Go maybe, I don't know, to the horses.
Donnie's not looking so well up there.
He's flying weird.
I'm going to go check him out.
And for your new friend,
you see a dragon off in the distance
coming towards you
and them talking about Donnie.
Leave that up to you if you make a connection.
Kay?
Are you not going to answer me, Tom?
Kay?
I didn't know that was the universal sign of
are you okay?
No, I think she was saying-
Oh, the instructions.
Got it.
Sorry, I'm having a day today.
You're having a day today.
You've splatted on the ground,
so she knows you're not okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm horribly hurt.
No, let's take that again.
I lean over the edge.
I'm very badly hurt.
I think the wound is ganged at us.
I'm just very badly burned.
I lean, I just peek my head over the edge
and I say, Donnie's not flying too good up there.
Gwok and I are going to go check him out.
Got it.
And I look to our big gray buddy and I'm like,
You cool?
I...
I guess I'll go help your friend.
Okay, yes, that sounds good.
Okay, and I throw, I take out my serpentine jade owl
and I say, Gwok, I need you.
And I throw it in the air and a giant eagle appears.
Nope.
Why?
Because you don't have an eagle.
A giant eagle appears.
Hey, we're both having days.
I haven't so much having a day.
Let's try that again.
But this time I know what my animal is
that I've had for the past three or four years.
We only talked about it 30 minutes ago.
We sure did.
I take out my jade serpentine owl.
Didn't I even say that?
You did.
Oh, damn it.
There's the switcheroo.
That's the twist.
Yes, it's the surprise.
And I say, Gwok, I need you.
And I throw it into the air and a giant owl appears.
No, no.
Not a giant pigeon.
Disappointing.
I get on her back.
Right.
Fly to dawn.
Owl flies off.
You climb down the ladder.
Yes.
Karla character?
Karla character.
What would you like me to call you?
Your majesty.
I'm sorry, Ross, tonight's a mess already.
That's good.
I love it.
Probably not that.
You can go with like a characteristic
or like you can just call you beefy boy.
Sure.
Beefy boy.
Perfect.
Yes, I went down the ladder to follow Flint.
All right.
Did you do a cool dude style like Flint?
No, I didn't think it was that cool.
Once you get down to the bottom,
you make your move to go catch up towards Flint.
Both of you make an attack roll as zombies are coming near you.
12.
17.
Both of you strike into a couple zombies as they come towards you,
knocking them clear and you make your way back towards the tavern.
We're here in the middle and we're back now.
We're here and we're back.
We're both of them.
We're here and we're back.
And we're back.
It's like we never left.
Hey, we're here.
Except Tom left because he's not here.
Yeah, Tom.
But he'll be back.
You just heard his voice because he was in the episode,
but now he's in Mexico and then in five minutes he'll be back.
You don't have to miss him for too long.
You don't have to miss him.
We've been missing him.
We have been.
But you don't have to.
No, he's there.
Where we would like to go with this is we just gave away
two copies of Baldur's Gate, The Descent into Avernus.
And we want to thank you for participating in our contest.
So many people did.
It was awesome.
It's so nice.
So many people left reviews and subscribed
and just filled our cold little hearts.
Our cold dead hearts.
I love when we do contests like this that just encourage you guys to just say nice stuff.
I know.
It's so self-serving.
It's so kind of gross, but I love it.
But I love it because I really feel like a lot of these are like good and honest.
It's one of those things that every podcaster asks for.
And when you're just doing the podcast day in and day out,
you're recording, you don't hear from anybody necessarily every day,
editing late nights, you forget that there are people at the end of the earphones.
Yeah, are people even listening to this right now?
But when you receive just a whole bunch of really great reviews,
it just, again, very self-serving.
But it just reminds us how good we got it that we have such great listeners like you.
And if you have reviewed us, we encourage you to review other podcasts that you enjoy
because they love to hear it too.
I can pretty much guarantee it unless they're one of those
podcasts that just don't like good news.
Which I don't believe.
Because as a podcast, as people who don't have bosses, you're like our bosses.
And this is like a performance review.
And we like a performance review.
We want to know how we're doing.
Who doesn't like to be told they're doing a good job?
Keep it up.
A little slap on the back, a little pat on the shoulder,
a little rub of the thigh.
Not quite that.
But we just want to say congratulations to Captain Mike.
He's not only one of our patrons, but he's an avid subscriber and great reviewer.
He's a super stand up guy.
And also Joe, who left us a wonderful review and showed us that he was subscribed as well.
Both of them have received or have been sent.
I fired him off in the mail the other day there.
Merry Christmas to you guys or happy Hanukkah or crazy quanta.
Hopefully it gets to you quickly with that holiday mail.
But they have received their copies or will be receiving their copies of Baldur's Gate.
Sent into Avernus.
And now we're going to read some of those reviews that were left for us.
Again, just to say thank you that you have said these things.
Great irreverent fun.
Listening to the cast riff on each other and the story unfolding in unusual ways
is one of my podcast listening highlights.
Great stuff.
The cast is friendly, the story and characters are engaging,
and there are some truly heart wrenching moments.
Definitely worth a listen.
And that was Skeptical Okie on Apple Podcasts.
Thank you, Skeptical Okie.
I love someone with the name of Skeptical who then goes ahead and says nice things.
Because you know what?
I don't like maybe that doesn't happen very often.
Super skeptical.
Can I read one?
Yes, please do.
Nice.
Okay, this one's titled, I can't even with these people.
These people have actually compelled me to start playing D&D.
I guess I rolled low on my insight saving throw.
Their witty banter and hilarious comments on life kept me listening,
even during some of the slow episodes.
If you pass up this opportunity to listen to them, you're just a doink.
Edit.
Their contests are amazing and aren't impossible to win.
It's true.
That is from Malkith via Apple Podcasts.
Thank you, Malkith.
I will keep it going here.
This one amazing podcast, some would say life changing.
That means they listen because I asked them to tell us how life changing we were.
It goes on to say all in the title.
Love the way Amy, Carla, and Tom get into the game and emerge you into the world.
Russ is an amazing storyteller.
This podcast makes me laugh out loud at work.
Go become a patron so you don't miss out on the amazing extra content they create.
That's from Nightshade77x via Apple Podcasts.
Thank you.
Yes, thank you.
Speaking of that real quick, while Tom was away,
Amy and Carla did play a game completely randomized and totally ridiculous.
And that'll be Patreon bonus content soon.
And it was a real hoot and Russ loved it.
He loves it when it's just cream.
It's so good.
And when we say random, we don't mean like just the random shit that we do.
We mean like we didn't make decisions.
We just rolled dice forever.
Just rolled, baby.
We let Lady Luck just like cast her wonderful charms upon us or not.
I had no prep, very little prep.
I basically just recycled prep from another game that I ran not too long ago and said,
eh, make a character.
And it turned out nothing like that.
And boy did they.
Yeah.
Russ knows that he can just give Carla and I just even the basic, most basic idea maybe.
And then we will be like, we've got this.
I feel like you said cheekbones and then that was the whole game.
I think that was it.
I said I have amazing cheekbones.
And then it began.
That was it.
So you have that to look forward to in January.
It's going to be called cheekbones.
No, it's not.
It'll be called something because I already titled it.
I don't remember.
So now it's called cheekbones the saga.
No prep ep.
It rhymes.
It's going to be called Mike placement, Amy.
No prep ep.
Suck on that poppin peas.
Thank you all for leaving reviews.
We'll be reading some more in the very near future.
From people who have sent them to us.
Thank you.
If you haven't left a review and haven't subscribed, there's no contest right now,
but we would really appreciate you doing so.
And if you do, let us know because we'll say thank you and give you internet hugs
because that's what we like to do too.
OK, back to the episode.
OK, bye.
Welcome to Facing Fate.
An anthological audio fiction actual play podcast.
What does that mean outside of being amazing alliteration?
Well, it means when you subscribe to Facing Fate,
you will find two 10 episode seasons every year starting January 2020
in the Facing Fate feed.
Each season will take you through a different setting,
different genre and different characters going through thrilling,
exhilarating and maybe hilarious collaborative stories.
I'm your game master, Russ More.
And along with my friends, Amy More, Carla Maxted and Tom Laird,
we will bring you along on a shared journey together.
Season one of Facing Fate titled Lunacorp begins January 2020.
Lunacorp is a sci-fi thriller placing you among the crew of a near future moon base
mining for an alternate energy source.
But the decisions and hasty thinking of mankind in this time
place the crew and the world in danger.
Subscribe to Facing Fate in your favorite podcast app to hear sneak peeks,
world archives and more leading up to January 2020.
Or visit FacingFate.com to find our social feeds and more about us.
Patrons of Dumb Dragons Productions have early access to weekly releases of season one now.
Join the crew of Lunacorp main base at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon cast.
Facing Fate, a Dumb Dragons production.
Russ, did the zombies have any weapons or were they just like,
They're just just zombies.
Just like that.
Yeah.
Uh, right.
Yeah.
No, no weapons.
I don't have any weapons yet, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled.
So you just kind of come by and clock them in the face.
You're just a punching machine.
I'm a puncher.
Force.
Um, okay.
You're flying towards Donnie.
What are you doing?
I'm on guac's back and as I, as we're approaching, because obviously we are very obvious, like I'm
flying the same level.
I start waving my hands in the air.
Like I do very much care and I, and I'm like, Donnie, are you okay?
You see, he's got very slow wings that kind of just punch him up and then he drops down.
It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I may have had more than one cow.
And I'm kind of full.
You're slow because you're, you're gluttonous.
Because I ate a lot of food.
They said I eat that guy.
He said I could just go to town.
Well, yeah, he wanted to recruit you for Orcus's undead army.
Is Orcus the god of cows?
No.
Is Orcus the god of food?
No.
Is Orcus the god of all the things that are good?
The undead part of this?
I've got the meat sweats, babe.
Dude, look down.
It does feel right, doesn't it though?
Look down.
Look at what's happening in the streets.
There's not, oh, look at that.
Okay.
What happened there?
What'd you do?
There were a nice group of people and now they're all.
It was all, it was, it was all an illusion.
Half of the population is just, you know, dead.
Um, we don't really have a plan right now other than to get back to the horses.
Okay.
Uh, we've picked up, um, a big beefy dude as well.
Like, like a cow?
No, not like a cow.
Can I eat it?
Like you need to eat anything right now.
Oh, I'm still kind of low.
You can barely fly.
Watch this.
And he kind of shimmies back and forth.
Made some room.
Oh my god.
You may have to carry him.
Who?
Our new dude.
New dude?
Is he naked too?
No, I promise myself only one other naked adventurer.
Flint fits the bill and that's it.
Come on, let's fly back.
So we fly back together as we have this conversation.
Donnie's very slow.
Oh god.
Flint and beefy boy, you make it back to the tavern.
Um, and you see zombies, uh, you see your horses.
Clipclop and Tiny are getting dangerously close to a horde of zombies.
They are trying to back away.
The zombies are getting closer.
Okay.
Uh, have I noticed that my companion has no weapon?
Make a notice check.
Roll for noticing.
You definitely know they're following you and know that they have,
I don't know if you know that they don't have a weapon,
but you know that they have punched zombies in face.
And you, they were just broken out of a prison where you knew
Lipsinki had all of her shit taken.
Right?
Okey dokey.
Question about an item that is attuned to me.
Am I able to loan it to someone else and it will still serve in like
its primitive function without any of the bells and whistles?
Yes.
Okay.
Perfect.
No bells and whistles, but it, yeah, it'll be a weapon.
Okay.
I mean you also had a wagon.
You guys could have had extra weapons in there.
Don't want to give me one of your weapons.
Well, I don't think we're at the wagon yet though.
So noticing that my companion has no weapon
because they've just been face punching their way through everything,
which I admire by the way.
I take my moist tongue long sword,
flip it around and hand it over handle first
and say you might need this.
Thank you.
I'll make good use of it.
Perfect.
And I turn my Rod of Lordly Might back into the double bladed
two handed axe that it deserves to be.
Okay.
Before you, you see six zombies and four skeletons.
Most of which are getting near to the horses.
I think we're going to enter initiative at this point.
You can roll for initiative as well depending on where you roll.
16.
That was more than 10, you guys.
It really is.
Six more.
12.
Seven.
And would you say six zombies and how many skeletos?
Six and I think I said four.
Can Johnny and Guac roll as well?
Should they just follow after me?
That's, yeah, roll.
Well, Guac will follow after you roll for Donnie.
Well, Donnie only rolled a three.
Jesus.
Okay, so the zombies and skeletons are up before both of you.
They're just going to continue walking toward or shambling towards the horses.
The zombies are going to make it to the horses.
That's fine.
Horses have a lot of stats, right?
They're strong.
They're large muscular animals.
That's true.
One of them is giant.
Well, the giant one, tiny, is going to take 12 bludgeoning damage from one of these zombies.
Clip Clop is going to take six.
Hold on.
Are these, if these zombies scratch you or bite you, do you become a zombie too?
I don't talk about that when everybody dies.
Excuse me?
You don't know.
He said when everybody dies.
What?
Yeah, that is what he said.
What?
Did I say that out loud?
I mean, hopefully he meant those bad guys.
Yeah, all those bad guys.
That is what he meant.
He was talking to them, not us.
Are there even bad guys who aren't zombies at this point?
The skeletons are going to turn and they have bows in their hand
and they are going to fire towards Flint and Beefy Boy.
Flint, that's going to be a 22.
And Beefy Boy, that's going to be a 23.
I'll do it.
And Flint, you're going to take five.
Beefy Boy, you're going to take 10 piercing damage as arrows come fly towards you.
And I'm going to only take two of that five damage, Russell.
Okay.
And then Thea, you're flying in and you are just coming over the building
and you're seeing that these zombies are attacking your horses.
Arrows are flying towards Flint and your new friend Beefy Boy.
I mean, I feel like we just are going to call this character this now forever.
Or at least until we accidentally let him die in some horrific way.
How far out am I?
You're coming over the nearest building.
So you are on top of guac.
So movement-wise, you could definitely make it to anywhere you need to be.
I'm going to Eldritch Blast these sons of bitches.
I'm going to do three beams and I'm going to...
How many are on the horses?
Six zombies between the two of them.
My god.
Okay, I'm going to do...
I'm going to hit two of the zombies.
One that's on Clip Clop and one that's on Tiny.
And then I'm going to go for one of the skeletons.
Okay.
Okay, that's a 17 plus...
26.
25.
And a 24.
Okay.
All four of those...
You guys.
Wow.
Right?
Someone's impressing Beefy Boy early on.
Trying to make an impression.
Okay, it is going to be one D10 force damage.
So I will roll for that.
Leslie.
Well, that's only a one.
The next one gets a three.
And then one of them gets a five.
Okay, got it.
Flint.
Nope.
Gwak.
Nope, yep.
Okay, my giant owl is going to swoop down.
And it's going to do slashing damage with its talons.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Does the owl have large talons?
It has large talons.
It's a melee weapon attack with a plus three to hit.
13.
She's going to go for one of the...
She's acting of her own accord.
She's going to go for one of the zombies that's on Tiny.
Okay.
Because they bonded.
Giant owl, giant horse, yeah.
Just makes sense.
To hit, it's two D6 plus one.
Two plus one is three.
That's four.
Slashing damage.
So you rolled a hit?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I didn't roll the hit.
I forgot about that.
Sorry.
17.
That will hit.
Well, I'm going to roll my thing again, then.
That's a one, just like it was before.
That's a four, so that's five plus one is six.
So that's slightly better.
Were you going for the same one that you hit or a different one?
One that's on Tiny.
So I don't know.
Probably one of the ones I hit, I guess.
Flint, you're up.
You got arrows flying towards you.
You see Thea and Guacamole come swooping in towards the...
To save the day.
Horses.
That's what you see.
How far away from the horses am I?
60 feet.
60 feet?
God damn it.
Come on, Russ.
So far.
I'm going to move as close...
Well, I did.
I did.
That's my bad.
I'm going to move as close as I can towards the horses, which is about halfway.
And in the meantime, I'm going to grab my Dwarven Thrower
and I'm going to throw it three goddamn times.
Oh, yeah.
This is like just a clump of zombies and skeletons.
He's got to take out multiples.
I'm going to go for the one that's on Clip Clop first.
Okay.
Provided I have a visual line of sight.
There are three, and yes, you would be able to hit any number of them.
Perfect.
All right.
First one is 19.
That will hit.
Perfect.
I'll give you AC here.
AC is going to be eight.
Oh, I can't roll bad enough unless it's a crit fail, then.
Okay.
Well, just make sure you don't roll a crit fail and you're good.
I'll just roll all three attacks in,
or would you like me to spread them out between people?
Okay.
Nope, that's not a crit fail.
And that one's not a crit fail.
And the best part is, too, I can re-roll crit fails when they happen.
So really, I can't miss.
You just can't lose.
Okay.
So that is going to be one D8 plus eight to every single thing that I've hit.
Are you going for this?
I guess you can kind of take it one at a time.
Yeah.
First one is the one on Clip Clop.
That's an 11 for damage.
Yeah, so it hits hard.
Blood splattering out, but it's still standing.
Okay.
Second one again for that one.
That's a 14.
And it drops.
Hits it in the head, which explodes all over the side of the horse.
Perfect.
The horse is like, oh, good God.
We'll go to one of the other ones that's on the horses.
And that is 13 damage.
Another one on Tiny Drops.
Perfect.
Okay.
Anything else?
I should also let Karla know the stats on that sword so that when she goes to use it,
she has accurate rolling abilities.
Probably a good idea, because this beefy boy's up next.
Yeah.
All right.
It is a plus five to hit.
And then, of course, whatever bonus you have with your character, add on to that.
And it's 2d6 damage-wise.
Okay.
So yeah, strength plus proficiency for hitting plus five.
Yes.
So probably like a plus 14.
And then just-
Strength plus proficiency bonus plus five?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
And then your damage will be strength plus five, I think.
Maybe plus proficiency too.
Okay.
It's going to be a lot.
Well, except that I think I'm still 60 feet away.
So I'm just briskly walking there for the rest of my turn.
Good dash.
I don't know how many attacks you have.
I have many attacks.
So dash would take one action, which would get you there.
Okay, great.
Then I'm going to dash.
Okay.
And then I'll use my nice borrowed sword my new best friend gave me.
And that is a 21.
So I'm going to say you're going to the skeletons,
which are first in if you're getting into melee.
Yep.
And they have, I'll give you their AC.
Their AC is 13.
So that will definitely.
Okay.
So then you said 2d6, yeah?
Oh my God.
I rolled two ones.
So great.
But still two damage to one of them.
And then I'll attack again.
Plus five plus.
Yeah, you'll get plus five on top of that too.
Oh, okay.
Seven damage.
Plus strength.
Is there any more pluses?
I mean, I said them all a couple of times, but plus strength plus five.
Sorry, I.
That's okay.
Right.
So plus nine.
So 11 damage.
All right.
One of them goes down.
Okay.
So then I'll use my other attack.
It's a nat 20.
Oh yeah it is.
So 46.
46?
46.
Plus five plus strength.
Plus strength.
So 10, 14, 19, 23.
This one is just obliterated.
Skeletons go flying everywhere.
Or skeleton goes flying everywhere.
Two skeletons are now down.
Donnie.
Oh God.
I don't know if I can.
What's happening over here guys?
You're supposed to wait a half hour.
Okay.
When when you guys clear out those horsies, I'm gonna I'm gonna blast them with fire.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay, I'm just gonna I can see some more coming so hurry up.
Are there any?
Any left in the way?
In the way of what?
No, I'm asking you if there are any left in the way.
Of the horses?
Zombies or skeletons?
There's two zombies.
Four zombies still left.
No, three zombies still left.
And two skeletons.
The zombies are right next to the horses, which is what he's saying.
Oh, okay.
Well, I mean the horses can take a turn here and try and move but.
They're in the middle of combat.
They're gonna get it.
Yeah.
No, don't move.
It's okay you guys are coming for you.
Okay, he's he's waiting to tell those moves.
So the zombies are going to take a turn.
I guess the horses could try and kick here.
I tried to look up.
Oh, oh, it's warhorse.
I was looking for giant.
Yeah, horses are going to try and hooves damage.
Yeah, hoove it.
One will hit, the other will not.
So we'll say Tiny will hit, Clip Clop will not.
Tiny's gonna get 2d6 plus four bludgeoning damage.
Oh, it sucks getting kicked by a horse.
Nine bludgeoning damage, which crushes the skull of one of the zombies on it.
Clip Clop is not so lucky.
Now it's the zombies' turns.
One will hit Tiny, the others will not hit Clip Clop.
So that's gonna be seven more damage on Tiny.
What are Tiny's stats?
So Tiny has 30 hit points.
He's taken 19 damage.
Oh, my baby.
Clip Clop has 19, he's taken six.
Skeletons draw their swords and move towards Beefy Boy.
That's going to probably not be very good.
17 is the highest.
Nope.
Then they miss.
Destruct with their friends being shattered all over the street.
They begin crying, or what you can presume is crying.
And it's Thea's turn.
Who knew they felt feelings?
Uh, okay.
Skeletons act as they would in real life.
Oh, fair enough.
Okay, um, I'm going to call Lightning.
Wait, one's on a horse and there are two skeletons?
On Beefy Boy.
Two skeletons on Beefy Boy.
One is on a horse.
Okay, never mind.
There's three of them.
I'm just going to fucking Eldritch Blast again.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
That is 23.
And 25.
And 12.
Uh, all.
Such a drop off.
I know.
Which ones are you going for?
One on each?
Yes.
The...
So it was skeleton, skeleton, zombie.
Okay, yeah, y'all hit everybody.
Neat.
Okay, 1d10 forth.
Come on.
More than I got last time.
That's a 10 for a skeleton.
That's a 9 for the other skeleton.
For a Skela 9.
And that's another 10 for the zombie.
For the zombie.
10b.
You drop all three of those things.
Boom!
Eldritch Blast fly out, shattering bones and zombie icker.
I think I lost count, but I think there's one zombie left.
So it's Gwak's turn.
Gwak is going to go for that zombie.
Gwak is going to, like...
Pick it up, fly up in the air and then drop it 80 feet?
Oh, that's always a dramatic move.
Yeah.
Yeah, Gwak does that.
Make a strength check.
Plus one?
14.
So Gwak kind of shrugs you off and drops you to the ground.
Oh, no, I had already hopped off of Gwak, I assume.
Because in order to do a Talon attack, I assume I'd be dead weight.
Okay, fair enough.
Anyways, so yeah, Gwak does go pick up this zombie.
Yeah, she dumps me.
There we go.
Looks better.
Gwak dumps you off.
You fall to the ground on your ass.
I was trying to make it all majestic as fuck and then he interrupted my story.
In a puddle.
You fell on your ass in a puddle.
I deserve it.
You got muddy shorts now.
And picks up this zombie and takes it high into the air
and see her take it forward a little bit and drop it.
And it's going to take...
It's going to splat into the ground.
Like a pancake.
Now there's zombie puddle.
As you are now out of combat and you see coming down the walk behind you,
the horde of zombies moving down the street towards you.
I run and I wrap my arms around Tiny and I cure wounds to her.
So she gets 1d8 plus 4.
10.
Great.
All right, you're out of combat.
What do you do?
Let's get the fuck out of here, you guys.
Yeah, it sounds like a plan.
Where do we go?
I'd suggest just away from here.
Just away?
Perfect.
Let's go back to Waterdeep.
Let's head back in that direction.
I think they need to know about this special...
What?
It's always Waterdeep.
That's how I knew.
I think they need to know about this.
This is a lot more than just the three of us can do.
Yeah, there's like a whole death cult thing going on here.
The same tremors you felt down in the basement.
Now you can feel them where you stand.
Yeah, we're hopping on those horses.
I will take the owl.
Everybody hops in on the wagon and or is flying slowly behind you
and you peel out down the main road and get back on the main road out of Blackpool
which wraps around a black lake and you feel the tremors growing as you are leaving the town
and an explosion goes and you turn and look back and the city erupts
and then gets sucked back into the ground and is nothing but debris and rubble.
Oh, I yield now.
That kind of takes care of that.
I mean, we still got to tell people though.
This is this is a thing that's happening.
Yeah, no, no, totally.
But I mean, yeah.
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I just thought you were like basically sleeper holding me.
Considering I'm like a foot taller than you two, awkward as fuck piggyback ride.
Both of you are starting down this hallway.
Burritos.
Tonight's enemy burritos.
How are you going to get through these monologues when you eat burritos?
Okay, you get out of here.
Thanks.
You run.
Russ, we get out of there.
How long does it take us to get out of here?
It's going to take forever because guess what?
You're all dead.
We wake up in the maze.
Boom.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.